KAPA’A, KAUA’I

For as long as I can remember, that’s how I’ve been – a night owl. Mornings were just the worst. I was grumpy, groggy and completely out of it. Over the last two years I’ve worked on trying to be a morning person because that’s what successful people do! They’re up at dawn, go for a run, do some yoga, have a coffee, walk their dog, write a journal entry, conquer the world! All before I even get to hit the snooze button. If that’s what successful people do, then I must do so as well!

It lasted a day. And all I did was get up at 9am and have a coffee. Not a success. Then I’d say that’s ok, try it again tomorrow. But the more this happened, the more I slept in until I thought, well, that just isn’t me. I can be a night owl and be successful!

Well, that didn’t work either. It didn’t work before and it doesn’t work now. When I sleep in and wake up late my day, my productivity, didn’t seem to kick in until after lunch, but I wouldn’t feel like doing anything either. Studies show that optimal performance is 2-4 hours after you wake up, which made sense because I wouldn’t get into the swing of things ’til about 3 or 4 pm (that’s getting up at 11am by the way. Not 1 or 2pm…). And by my night owl behaviour, that shouldn’t matter. What really mattered was that I just didn’t feel like I was getting enough done. Some days, it didn’t feel like I got anything done.

So I wasn’t a successful morning person nor was I a successful night owl. I was a lemming in a constant search for siestas. Just exhausting myself in cycles.

I stopped trying. And a funny thing happened.

I started waking up early. I started getting more done and I started to look forward to sleeping early and doing it again the next day. I loved it. It was good for me. Then I would find myself sleeping in again, finding it hard to get up and I’d feel guilty – I’d gotten off track and it just didn’t work.

So the last few weeks I’ve been keeping a close eye on this – thinking back to my patterns and why I haven’t been able to become a morning person successfully. Well, lately, I’ve taken to watching a Ted Talk a day, talking to a business mentor and coach, continuing with photography courses, focusing on fitness and – on separate occasions – I’ve been told this:

Be patient with you.

It sounds so simple and yet, the simplest things are what we forget and, sometimes, the hardest things to follow through with. If I was going to change something about myself, if I was going to be successful in creating a new habit, I’d have to give it time. I’d have to give myself time. And failure is not the end – it just gives you more data on what to do or not to do. I’d give myself a hard time for failing (and this is true in all aspects of my life) – I’d feel guilt for not being able to follow through and once I felt that, it would throw the day whole day off track. It was a constant feeling of catching up and making up for things.

I’d always taken a focus on being patient with others, but I never thought to be patient with myself. Ever.

Sleeping in is not a bad thing. Some mornings I wake up and I just didn’t get a deep enough sleep and an extra half hour or hour makes the difference in my productivity. Sometimes it’s my body telling me I need just a little more rest.

And so, if I think back to why I failed all those times before, it was because a.) I let the guilt run me; and b.) I wasn’t being patient with myself to give it time and accept failures. At some point long ago I made the choice to be a night owl and now I choose to the other. Eventually it will be a habit. But I have to give it time.

So am I currently a morning person? Yes, I am. Am I going to sleep in now and then? Yes, I am.

I mean, I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love sleeping in even just a little bit. Have you??